Until The Next Sleep

The good part of the day was over. Five pure hours of unconscious bliss, gone in an instant. The bed still felt warm, but he felt cold as he came back to the real world. He forced himself to go back, but it was a futile effort. The ceiling fan spun slowly above him. Its sound was neither comforting nor disturbing. It was simply there.

His eyes opened. The curtains leaked pale light into the room. It was morning. Morning meant only one thing. He had to get ready. His body rose, slow and unwilling, as if dragged upward by invisible strings. The tiles were cold under his feet. He moved because he had to. He always had to.

He didn’t like going to the office. As a matter of fact, he didn’t like coming back from the office either. The only exciting moments in his existence came in the world of dreams. It was rather unfortunate that he couldn’t sleep for all 24 hours.

The mirror reflected him back without care. The same tired eyes. The same faint shadows under them. He brushed his teeth. He washed his face. He buttoned his shirt with fingers that remembered the sequence better than his mind did. He wore shoes that had long since lost their shine. They carried the weight of countless mornings like this one.

At the office, the air was still, the lights too bright. PPTs waited for him. A computer hummed to life. He sat. Hours began to slip past; he felt all of them and none of them. He started working, doing the same thing he had done yesterday and would do tomorrow. Slides filled the screen. Numbers, charts, bullet points. They stacked on top of each other until they blurred together. Conversations drifted in the background, words without shape.

Lunch arrived. A plate of food that carried no taste. He chewed, swallowed, finished, and returned. The hours stretched again, quiet and heavy. The clock ticked only forward, never back.

Evening came. People packed their bags. They spoke of home, of family, of plans. He stayed for a while, letting the room empty out before him. He took his bag, rose, and walked back along the same path as always.

The city under evening lights was no different from the city in the morning. The same roads, the same shops, the same wires hanging low. He walked past them with steady steps, shoes scraping the pavement, carrying him without thought. Crowds thinned as he reached the quieter lanes. The sound of traffic faded to a distant hum.

His room waited in silence. He dropped his bag on the floor. He sat for a while, staring at nothing. Time moved, but he did not. Eventually, he lay down. The mattress knew him well. The ceiling disappeared as his eyelids closed. Slowly, gently, the noise of the world grew distant. The edges of everything softened. His breath slowed. He was gone.

For a few hours, there was peace again.

The Beauty of Overrated Experiences

“Hey! You went to Venice, right? How was it?”
“It was good, but it’s overrated now. Everybody goes there. It has lost its beauty.”

We hear such sentences often. For some time now, places, movies, songs, books, and even food have been given a new adjective: overrated. Why is this the case? The same places and things that once inspired art, literature, and culture often fail to impress people today. Perhaps the problem is not with the place or the art, but with our expectations. The more we chase uniqueness, the harder it becomes to feel wonder in what has already been loved by millions. I am not going to diagnose this fully, because that would require deep research into human behaviour. What I will share here are my own experiences with “overrated” things.

When I arrived in Chennai, the one place I wanted to visit was Marina Beach. I was told it is overrated and that there are other, smaller but cleaner beaches. Regardless, I went there. There was some truth in what I had been told; the beach was not very clean. Yet, when I walked up to the shore, I heard laughter. Families were ending their day on a joyous note. Children were playing and running through the shallow receding water. Couples were holding hands and looking out at the vastness of the sea. People from all strata of society were enjoying their well-earned evening together.

In that moment, I forgot about taking the perfect photos and simply absorbed the happiness and serenity around me. The smell of corn, the sight of kites flying high, and the chatter of vendors selling snacks all added to the atmosphere. It was not about the beach alone, but about the life it contained.

I have been to cleaner and less crowded beaches, but the emotions are not the same. At a secluded beach, you can be with yourself. At Marina, filled with people and emotions, you become one with the surroundings. Sometimes beauty is not in the landscape, but in the shared experience of being human together.

I feel we have always been focused on finding something better. In the pursuit of the new, we often overlook the value of what is already good. There is a sense of achievement in discovering something unearthed, but how do we measure its goodness? By calling it better than the “popular good” that already exists. What happens when we find another new good thing? The cycle repeats. The better becomes the new good, and the good becomes overrated.

There is also a certain pride in holding a contrarian view. To say “I did not like it” often feels like a mark of refinement, as though our taste is sharper than the crowd’s. However, in doing so, we sometimes overlook the deeper truth: the very fact that something is popular means it has touched the hearts of countless people. There is an art in overrated things. They have reached out to the vast majority, connected with many, and given people a sense of belonging.

It is a blissful day for me if I listen to Arijit Singh, eat at a popular city joint, and spend the evening among the crowd, blending in with them. These places and experiences have witnessed countless stories, and I feel proud when I contribute my own to them. The crowded restaurant has heard laughter and arguments, the beach has seen first loves and last goodbyes, and the song has healed thousands in ways words cannot describe. To add my thread to this fabric feels meaningful.

I look forward to doing the things that many others have done, because that is how I become a part of this beautiful society. One day, I will take the road less travelled, but I will never forget the crowded paths that brought me there. After all, even the most unique journeys often begin on the very roads that millions have already walked.

The Person I Ignored

Sumit was running late for work and silently cursed the late-night party as he hurriedly tied his shoes. He picked up the half-smoked cigarette from the ashtray and lit it again. There were still a few minutes before the autorickshaw was supposed to arrive, but he anxiously kept checking the Uber app, hoping it would get there sooner. He liked to think his friends had dragged him to the party last night, though deep down, he knew he hadn’t resisted much: “I can’t, yaar. I’ve got meetings tomorrow.” Saying no was hard; what if they stopped inviting him?

“Sunil bhaiya, don’t bring the tea now, I’m already running late. Make sure to come on time tomorrow.”

The blaring horn of an autorickshaw snapped him out of his thoughts. He stepped outside and climbed into the three-wheeler.

“Bhaiya, 7312,” he told the driver, giving him the Uber OTP. Greetings were reserved for his colleagues and seniors.

“Bhaiya, wrong OTP. Please check again,” the driver said. Sumit looked at his phone, and the OTP was correct. Frustrated, he asked the driver to try again, but the result was the same. Irritated, he insisted the driver enter the code one more time. As Sumit watched him type it in, he suddenly realized he had gotten into the wrong autorickshaw.

“Come on, bhaiya! Why didn’t you tell me you were waiting for a different passenger?” he exclaimed, stepping out of the rickshaw without bothering to hear a reply. Just a few feet away, another rickshaw was parked. He checked the number plate and climbed in.

“7312”

Sumit asked the driver to stop at the tea shop near his office. He paid the fare and stepped out of the vehicle.

“Bhaiya, a cup of tea,” he called out to the shopkeeper while lighting his cigarette. As he did, he noticed the shopkeeper shooing away a beggar, as usual. The beggar was a familiar figure in the area, showing up at the shop multiple times daily to ask for money. Sometimes, the shopkeeper would give him something, while the beggar was met with harsh words at other times. Sumit never gave much thought to the man.

Following his usual routine, he finished his tea, took the last puff of his cigarette, and then pulled out a 5-rupee coin, handing it to the beggar. He glanced around, satisfied that there were witnesses to his small act of generosity. Just then, his phone rang.

“Pranaam, Maa! I’ll call you later, I’m running late for work,” he said, heading toward his office. Behind him, the beggar picked up Sumit’s discarded cigarette butt and tossed it into the dustbin.

Sumit’s days fell back into their usual rhythm, which mostly involved juggling meetings, rushing through presentations, and finding a few seconds in between for a smoke. Every morning, he’d stop at the same tea stall for his “one tea and one cigarette,” sometimes glancing at the beggar hovering near the shop. Time and again, he noticed the beggar picking up discarded cigarette butts, his own and those left behind by other customers, and carefully tossing them into the dustbin. It was odd, but Sumit never bothered to ask why. It was just another eccentricity of the city, he told himself.

Days rolled on, and Sumit found himself in a sour mood one afternoon. He had just come out of a heated meeting where his boss had berated him for being late on deadlines and “not pulling his weight.” The boss had chastised Sumit before the entire team to make matters worse. Frustration and a bruised ego tugged at him as he stormed out of the office.

He reached the tea stall, craving a smoke to calm his nerves. The beggar was there, collecting yet another used cigarette butt from the ground.

“Bhaiya, tea, and a cig,” Sumit ordered the shopkeeper, his tone sharper than usual. The shopkeeper handed him his usual tea, and Sumit lit his cigarette with an irritated flick of the lighter.

The beggar hovered close, eyes darting between Sumit’s face and the cigarette in his hand. Something about his presence set Sumit off, maybe it was the memory of his boss’s scolding, or perhaps it was just the cumulative stress.

“What do you want?” Sumit snapped, glaring at the beggar. “Don’t you have anything better to do than pick up these cigarette butts?”
The beggar still crouched down, mumbled, “I was just like you.”

“Just like me?” Sumit spat, exhaling smoke in frustration. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
But the man only offered a faint, haunted look, resumed his cigarette-butt-collecting routine, and drifted away, leaving Sumit with more questions than answers.

Sumit turned back to his tea, the warmth of the drink failing to soothe his temper. The shopkeeper finally broke the silence.

“Leave him alone, Sumit bhai,” the shopkeeper spoke, his gaze laced with a quiet sadness as he looked at the beggar. “He has lost everything in the world.” Sumit shrugged, still annoyed but curious. “Why, what happened to him?”

The shopkeeper pulled out a small stool and wiped his forehead with a towel. “His name is Raman. He used to be an accountant. He worked in the office at the corner of the street. He was married and had a daughter. But he smoked too much, just like you, bhaiya, always saying work was so stressful. His wife argued with him to quit and begged him, but he never really listened.”

Sumit took a deep drag, his anger slowly giving way to interest. “So what happened?”

The shopkeeper sighed. “One day, their 3-year-old daughter started coughing. Doctors diagnosed her with pneumonia. They couldn’t save her.” He paused for a moment, letting the weight of those words sink in.

Sumit blinked, a pang of guilt tightening in his chest.

The shopkeeper continued, “His wife left him after that. Now, don’t misunderstand, she didn’t die because of his smoking, not directly. But Raman blamed himself. He felt that if he hadn’t smoked so much, maybe the air in the house would have been cleaner, or maybe he would’ve taken better care of his family. Those thoughts haunted him. Eventually, he lost his mental balance. Left his job and lost his home. Now he’s here.” Sumit’s gaze followed Raman, who was diligently picking up someone else’s cigarette butt off the pavement.

“He says it keeps the streets clean… stops someone else’s kid from picking it up,” he explained. “He thinks maybe, just maybe, it’ll make a difference for another family.”

Sumit’s mind spun. He recalled his own mother’s countless pleas to take care of his health, to come home earlier, to smoke less. Suddenly, the beggar didn’t seem like another face on the streets. He recognized in Raman the person he had ignored for so long, someone who, in many ways, wasn’t so different from himself.

He flicked his own cigarette to the ground and, without thinking, reached for the butt. For the first time, he tossed it into the dustbin himself. A moment of reflection seized him, and he felt an unusual ache in his chest that had nothing to do with smoke. It was regret… and fear.

In the distance, Raman glanced back, nodded once as if acknowledging Sumit’s small gesture, and resumed his quiet routine.

As Sumit walked back toward his office, he couldn’t stop replaying the shopkeeper’s words. He thought of the many times he had lit a cigarette, using work stress as an excuse, ignoring his mother’s calls, his own well-being, and even the small moments that truly mattered. He had been so busy trying to impress friends, coworkers, and his boss that he had forgotten to look at himself—not just in the mirror but deep within.

For the first time in a long time, he thought less about the next big promotion or the next night out and more about the person he was becoming. Perhaps it was time to stop ignoring the person who needed his attention the most, himself.

Loneliness

Loneliness can be a harrowing experience, but the feeling of being lonely despite being surrounded by people is a terror beyond words. One moment, you could be engrossed in conversation and laughter; the next, a sense of isolation creeps over you like a sinister cloud. You try to fit in, to blend seamlessly with different personalities. Still, it only leads you further away from your true self, assuming you even know who that is. Accepting your fate doesn’t soothe your restless mind, for fear of being trapped in this state for eternity is like a never-ending nightmare. A companion to share your moments with is a rare and precious gift, yet you remain deprived. A confidant, someone to talk to about anything and everything, seems like a distant dream. Perhaps you haven’t found one yet, or maybe you don’t have the courage to make one. Life seems like a merciless journey for you, one that offers no respite. You cling to the hope of a silver lining somewhere, but it remains elusive, just out of reach.

He

He hadn’t vented and ranted for a long time now with words. This was a good time to do it again. Nothingness and numbness had taken over him for some time now. The days had gone routine, and the nights, well, dark and somber as always. The memories had turned blurry when he tried to look back at the happy moments. He was living a life out of obligations, with nothing to look forward to. He laughed, though; he found it easy to do that. Somehow he got good with wit and jokes. Some people saw through his tricks but couldn’t do anything, right? He wondered what had made him happy before. Friends? They provide him moments of relief and de-stressing, yes. Books? He was more excited with them earlier. Family? Let’s just say the khatta-meetha relationship will always be there for him. What else? He’s discovering that finding something that gives him purpose to be genuinely happy is challenging. I hope he finds it. He looked beautiful when he had it before.

If Only This Were Easy

If only this were easy
You’d have been in my arms
I’d be whispering in your ears
Watching the stars together

If only this were easy
I’d be looking at your beautiful face
Forever, and I’d have told the world
I care nothing for anything but you

If only this were easy
I’d kiss you and not leave
I’d caress your hair and
I’d be immersed in your world

If only this were easy
I’d have opened up to you
I’d have told you my demons
And what keeps me up at night

If only this were easy
I’d have been with
And you with me
And we’d be needing nothing

If only this were easy…

L.B.W.

Chapter 1

Slurp…

“I was sure he was going to bowl a yorker. Why did he bowl the slower one? Did I shuffle across the off stump a bit early? Did he see through me? God, it was embarrassing”. Naman was recalling his day on the ground today. He was sitting at his usual place, having his cup of tea, waiting for Pranav to join.

“Hey, champ.” Pranav arrived with his cricket kit. “Geez, what a knock you played today! Another century for you. Practice those autographs already”. Naman had played an excellent inning for his academy today. This was his second consecutive century in the tournament they were playing. He was the star of the academy at the moment.

“Shut up now. Didn’t you see how I threw my wicket? A catch to the wicketkeeper after hitting the middle of the bat. I’m never playing this stupid scoop again”. Naman was frustrated by his dismissal. “Are you stupid? You scored a freaking century. I got out on the first ball in the previous game. I’m pretty sure I won’t get to play another match now”, Pranav sighed, finishing his tea, “Let’s go home now, we have a test tomorrow at school too.”

Naman and Pranav lived in the same area of the city. They became good friends after they joined the Lessons Beyond Wickets Academy for cricket. The LBW academy was one of the best in the state for this sport. It was located across the little forest outside the town. They both cycled around the forest every day to reach the academy. Naman’s parents have strictly prohibited him from going through the woods; otherwise, they’d pull him back from the academy. Naman has never thought about breaking this rule.

“All the best for the test. See you in school.” Pranav took off after saying goodbye to Pranav. Naman turned back and started going back towards the woods.

Previous Chapter: Prologue

L.B.W

Prologue

“Why am I running?”
“Where am I?”
“Is this a dream?”
“What is this sound? Where is it coming from?”
“I can’t see anything. I cannot; It is dark, and I am still running and….”
His eyes were open now. A sense of relief came to him; it was just a dream.
“Ouch,” he exclaimed in discomfort.
He was not on his bed; It was not even his room. There were trees and bushes all around. He was lying around a bush full of thorns.
“Am I still sleeping?” he thought.
It didn’t feel like a dream. He was in pain; he felt it everywhere in his body. He got up and sat under a tree, confused and scared. What was he to do now? He tried to collect his thoughts and calm his nerves down. He pushed his face into his palms and tried to think and recollect the situation. He felt something on the tip of his fingers. It was around his forehead. He could feel the dryness of the blood that was present there.
“Is it mine?”
This weird question was the first thing that came into his mind. The scary feeling that this was not his blood was creeping in. It was never a dream. He was running.
What happened before that? What happened after that? What was the last thing that he remembered?
After having a tough day at the cricket ground, he returned to his home with Pranav. Pranav asked him to wait as he took a pee in the woods. He remembered Pranav was not back even after half an hour. He remembered that he went into the words. He remembered. He was blank. He did not remember anything after that.

Next Chapter: Chapter 1